Remembering Mary Dufour (1941–2024)

PUBLISHER'S NOTE:  My wonderful grandmother, Mary Dufour (aka Nana), would have turned 85 this week, and her obituary is unfortunately no longer able to be found online.  In memory and honor of her, I’m publishing this biography written in 2016 by her eldest son and my uncle, Christopher. We hope the countless people in Washington County and beyond whose lives were touched by her enjoy reading this tribute to her life, along with a new epitaph that he added to the conclusion.

A BIOGRAPHY of MARY DUFOUR

by Christopher Dufour

Mary Margaret Dufour, also known as Mom, Mommy, Mother, Momma, Ma, Nana, and Aunt Mary, was originally Mary Margaret Martens.  She was born to Edward and Agnes ("Peggy") Martens on August 5th, 1941. 

The third of four children, Mary had two sisters, Jean Carol and June Rose (12 and 10 years older, respectively) and a brother, James Edward (four years her junior).  The only sibling whose first name began with a different letter, Mary also had the distinction of a childhood nickname: "Butchie". 

Her parents lived on the northern side of Chicago, Illinois for the first ten years of her life, beginning at 6038 North Albany Avenue (which she was too young to remember) and then residing for eight years at 2843 West Sherwin Avenue.  After that, they moved the family five miles westward to 6219 LeMai Avenue in the suburb of Edgebrook.  The only aspects of Mary’s childhood that resembled her later life on a rural farm were that her parents cultivated a vegetable garden on their property and canned bushels of tomatoes (mostly purchased from local farmers), staying up late into the night to complete the canning process.  

Mary’s father worked as a milkman for the Borden Milk Company, originally using a horse and buggy to deliver in neighborhoods and then, in later years, driving a semi-truck to supply milk wholesale to major food stores.  When Mary entered the job market after getting a work permit at the age of fifteen and a half, her first employment was at a retail store called Neisner’s Five & Dime.

Because Mary’s mother was a practicing Roman Catholic, she wanted her children to go to Catholic schools. Mary went to St. Margaret Mary's grammar school in Chicago until the fifth grade and then to Queen of all Saints’ elementary school after the move to Edgebrook.  For high school, it was back to Chicago to attend St. Scholastica Academy.

Teaching eventually came into focus as Mary’s vocation, and she went to Mundelein Women's College in 1959 to pursue this goal.  During this time she began dating a young man named Victor Lee Dufour, who liked her very much.  Victor’s mother Ann, a successful business owner, also thought highly of Mary and asked her to manage one of her Custom Christmas Tree stores in 1960.  Mary performed this seasonal job two years in a row, with her older sister Jean working as her employee during the first year.

Even though Mary only completed one year at Mundelein, she applied to teach at one of her former schools, Queen of all Saints.  There were no openings at the time, so Mary instead found regular employment at the headquarters for Avon Cosmetics in Morton Grove, another Chicago suburb.  Avon trained Mary to perform many functions in different departments, which made her job very interesting and enjoyable.  However, when she unexpectedly received a call from the office of Queen of all Saints and was offered a job as a teacher, she accepted because she knew that teaching was what she really wanted to do.  The management at Avon said they were sorry to see her go; they valued her so much as an employee that they had planned to promote her to the third highest place in one of their departments.

Mary taught sixth grade at Queen of all Saints for a year and a half.  Since she was not certified to teach, she had to take ongoing college courses at the same time.  Meanwhile, her relationship with Victor was steadily deepening, and one night in 1961 he asked her to marry him.

At an earlier point in her life, Mary considered becoming a nun.  She had been inspired by the nuns she had known over the years at Catholic schools, especially St. Scholastica Academy, which was also a novitiate for young women training for that vocation.  One of these nuns counseled her on the subject of marriage, advising that she pray intently for an answer as to which commitment she should choose.  In the end, Mary chose to serve God through marriage.

After three years of courtship, Victor and Mary were married on August 11th, 1962, with many of Mary’s students from Queen of all Saints in attendance.  The newlyweds moved into one side of a duplex at 7501 Carmen Avenue in one of Chicago’s smallest suburbs, Harwood Heights.

Even though Mary loved her students, she resigned from her formal teaching career during Christmas break of that same year.  This decision would have eventually been necessary, as she planned to be a full-time mother, but she made the break sooner than she expected because her work had become progressively more difficult due to the growing number of children in her classroom.  At one point she had more than fifty with no assistance from teaching aides, and she no longer felt that she could do a good job.  Another factor was that the school was a considerable distance from Harwood Heights.  Her income was still needed, however, since Victor was attending graduate school full-time at Loyola University and only able to earn part-time wages, so Mary temporarily took a retail job at a place called Shiller Shop that was much closer to home.

As it turned out, motherhood was still several years away, but Mary came to appreciate this delay because it afforded her and Victor the opportunity to fine tune their life together before babies would demand the majority of their time.  They eventually had seven children, and Mary’s abilities as an educator were put to excellent use when she and Victor decided to home-school all of them after moving to rural Indiana in 1976.

Mary’s business and organizational skills later proved beneficial as well when she became the co-owner and co-manager of D & D Enterprises, the highly successful home-based company that she and Victor founded after they abandoned their careers in the big city.  These same skills also helped her to serve her community when she held public office for eight consecutive years, first as Trustee of Jefferson Township and then on the Jefferson Township Board, both in Washington County, Indiana.

In 2012, Mary and Victor celebrated their golden wedding anniversary.  They have retired and currently spend half of their time in California, even though they still call Indiana their home.  Both enjoy reading, gardening, and escaping winter each year.  As of this writing in 2016, they have twenty-one grandchildren. 

August 2026 UPDATE: Mary Dufour peacefully passed from this earth on August 17, 2024.  She is remembered as a faithful, honest, hard working, no-nonsense woman who resolutely stood by her convictions, virtually unwavering throughout the course of her life.  Her upbeat nature and quick smile warmed the hearts of countless individuals.  Many thanks to everyone who showed her kindness, friendship, care, and most of all, love. God bless you!  – Christopher Dufour

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

The author wishes to thank Mary and Victor Dufour for their invaluable assistance with this biography.  Thanks also to Mary’s sister Jean and her husband Robert Strom for their contributions.